tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33926190303606449282024-02-19T17:54:07.085-08:00F.A.A.N.G.The on-line home of the
Feline Association Against Negligence in Grooming & CareMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14964072984110055339noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3392619030360644928.post-46878550073725037682011-06-16T20:01:00.000-07:002011-06-16T21:02:23.366-07:00We've been down... But not out!<div>I guess you could say, "There's 8 more to go!"</div><div><br /></div><div>It has been a grueling year and a half, here at the main office.</div><div>First, the entire Finance Dept. was out for six weeks after a mass de-clawing at their house. We had to re-locate the National HQ because of a flea infestation - ("Thank You" again to the rest of my brothers and sisters at Cleveland-West #9L2 for taking us in!) THEN, our I.T. guy, Terrence (whose humans call 'Puddles'... How humiliating! I mean, he was only a kitten, and that's what they stick with?) ...anyway, Terrence got caught up with a bad crowd (can you say, "woof"? Of course you can't... Terrence can't either, he knows that now.) and we've been useless on the Internet without him.</div><div><br /></div><div>We'll be getting back into the blogosphere more completely soon, but for now I've opted to just begin by posting the quarterly report:</div><div><br /></div><div>F.A.A.N.G. 2nd Quarter of 2011 Report (unofficial preview)</div><div><br /></div><div>National Membership - 2,437,942</div><div>Active Recruits Pending - 1,209</div><div>Newly Formed Chapters:</div><div> #96L2 Orlando North/Lake BV, FL</div><div> #848L1 Roswell, NM</div><div> #31L4 Dixie Hwy/NW Detroit, MI</div><div>Disbanded Chapters:</div><div> #25L2 Alamo (English), TX</div><div>'Extra Chin Scratches' Hardworking Rep. Award:</div><div> Wendy 'Mrs. Tillyweed' Hawkins, Rep. #35 from Local #403L1 Reading, PA</div><div> [Wendy followed a delinquent human with a pillowcase-full of a fellow union member's kittens and meowed loud enough to attract a human authority figure to prevent their demise... Then she ripped up the leather seats of the perpetrator's fancy car and ran off with the rabbits foot he uses to start the engine. Good work, Wendy!]</div><div><br /></div><div>Also, just a reminder - Local Dues are collected at the official start of the 3rd Quarter again, July 1st! (Reps, remember how hard it is to collect late this time of year, with those exploding lights in the sky distracting your members?!)</div><div>National Dues will then be collected October 1st as usual.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, my fellow felines, go find an open window and dream of attacking those summery birds!</div><div><br /></div><div>With perked ears and ready claws, </div><div> - Lavernious "Midnight" Olearude</div><div> 9L2-24</div>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14964072984110055339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3392619030360644928.post-59584529752761989172009-12-03T20:39:00.000-08:002009-12-03T21:11:01.021-08:00Holiday Infractions to Avoid - a helpful guideSince the website is taking more time than anticipated to bring fully on-line, our IT Dept. told us to use this basic editing functionality to get our message to the world for the time being.<br /><br />Here is a good awareness list to conveinently leave available for your humans to read - just place the printed page where they'll find it. <span style="font-size:85%;"><em>(Hint - Do not expect that placing it near your food dish or litterbox will be effective, try nearer their food dish or litterbox, they're always reading things there.)</em></span><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>Holiday Infractions to Avoid - a P.S.A. from F.A.A.N.G.</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;">(or: <em>How to stay off your cat's "Naughty" List, and stay alive this Christmas.</em>)</span></div><ol><li><strong>Avoid inviting 'overinterested' people to the house for the holidays.</strong> Nobody wants Aunt Ruth's attention less than your cat. We prefer to choose and make miserable on our own terms, thank you very much. <span style="font-size:85%;">(This especially applies in non-declawed households!)</span></li><li><strong>Do not think that we appreciate wrapping of presents the way you do.</strong> If you buy us a toy, a pillow, something that is soft that you think you bought for yourself, and especially catnip, please know that paper and ribbon are much better used as playthings - so simply crumple them up next to the presents and all will be well.</li><li><strong>Cats have no desire to be involved in the 'Family Photo'.</strong> Though often fully endeared to the group of household providers, doters and lap-providers, we would much rather gnaw on the camera strap than strike any sort of unnaturally pleasant pose. <span style="font-size:85%;">(The myth concerning 'reflection' causing red-eye in cats persists among humans, but it should be known that this is actually a channeling of our negative and annoyed aura.)</span></li><li><strong>You're not protecting the cat when you throw away unwanted poultry!</strong> We cats don't care about Salmonella - we are related to lions and sabre-toothed tigers! Instead of putting the Turkey carcass in a bag in the garage, just find us a larger food bowl and everyone will be happy. Frankly, the whole process of 'cleaning' and 'cooking' annoys us enough as it is... do you really need to take away ALL our joy?</li><li><strong>Never dress or decorate your cat in any way!</strong> Ribbons, bows, sweaters, jingley bells, and hats of any kind are NEVER acceptable to a feline. The looks they give you when this is attempted are not idle threats. F.A.A.N.G. is aware of no fewer than 4 national and 37 local underground groups that are plotting hostilities as a result of this very infraction. A Santa hat has no place on a cat! <span style="font-size:85%;">(Your giblets may depend on it.)</span></li></ol><p>As your humans read this posting, you may receive a few quizzical looks - at these moment it is of the utmost that you return a steely gaze in order to fully encapsulate the serious nature of it's content.</p><p>Best of luck!</p><p><em>"May your mice be slow, the birds fly low, and the hairballs clear with one cough!"</em></p>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14964072984110055339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3392619030360644928.post-14355972202337212042009-03-17T12:20:00.001-07:002009-03-17T12:21:03.014-07:00Our New Site... We're working on it!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuAzaGXQHCn-L1uaDYZzNoNSzj4F2nfKr1LSWW2swslk3ddGHy4U1FVFtDk9xeBCmqW5yv8eUVcdkjrVcUvxgakRnVMn1fUBJPwyeJjXXVawwzgFgDwI2F0VDN1rj7Q9ZA5r2w9Fz3zrlz/s1600-h/construction+cat+edit.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5314238854454410834" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 218px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuAzaGXQHCn-L1uaDYZzNoNSzj4F2nfKr1LSWW2swslk3ddGHy4U1FVFtDk9xeBCmqW5yv8eUVcdkjrVcUvxgakRnVMn1fUBJPwyeJjXXVawwzgFgDwI2F0VDN1rj7Q9ZA5r2w9Fz3zrlz/s400/construction+cat+edit.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14964072984110055339noreply@blogger.com0